Book Review: There Are No Men by Carol Maloney Scott

There Are No Men

There Are No Men by Carol Maloney Scott
Release Date: 30th July 2014
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing
Buy: Paperback Kindle
Rating:

Divorced thirty-something Claire doesn’t know who’s in her dating pool—but she’s doing her best to avoid shark infested waters. Leaving her clueless and insensitive husband behind was a smart move after losing her fertility, but now she’s riding the wave of flying toupees, strange men in leather thongs and drunken nights in painfully impractical shoes. Claire desperately wanted to be a mother, but now she’ll settle for one middle aged man worthy of a second date.

After a long drought, men are flooding her shores and she’s drowning in choices. There’s Justin, the 25-year-old IT boy-genius with the GQ looks and cougar fetish, who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. A woman would have to be a blind, lesbian nun not to fall for him, but he reminds Claire of her wasted youth. And then the charming but mysterious Dr. Nathan appears, but he’s cheating on her with his medical mistress—a demanding cardiology practice.

To further rock her boat, Claire’s ‘stable’ career in publishing has been tossed about by her floundering company’s launch of a new line of trendy, salacious books. Cookbooks aren’t selling these days, but erotica is flying off the shelves—and challenging Claire’s attitude about sex, work . . . and her tempestuous new life.

When her best friend convinces her to buddy up to the aspiring writer who just moved in across the street, Claire rejects the idea—he has already caught her in more than one embarrassing and scantily clad situation. Giving in to her friend’s nudging, she tries to ignore the details she discovers about him, including his hard rock night gig and his mesmerizing blue eyes, in the hopes his literary talents can pull her publishing house up from the bottom of the ocean.

Claire’s dilemma begs the question: Are there NO men or TOO MANY?

Divorcee Claire is following in the footsteps of many single women and giving online dating a go, with frightening, shocking and sometimes hilarious consequences. After a string of men who are too old/wear cowboy hats/lose their hair onto Claire’s feet (no, that’s not a typo)/have a thing for wearing leather thongs, Claire is ready to despair. Will she ever find a decent man or is she destined to spend the rest of her life with the one person she truly does love (her Dachshund, Dixie)?
However, Claire doesn’t anticipate the interest that one of her colleagues, Justin, starts to show in her. Although he’s extremely good looking, Claire has always found him…well…a bit of an ‘idiot’ (The word Claire uses is slightly stronger).
Then there’s the extremely sexy neighbour, Brandon, who has moved in across the road. Forgoing formal introductions Claire has already flashed Brandon when putting Dixie out in the garden (accidentally, I must add.) Claire discovers that Brandon is a writer and as she works in for a publishing company she offers to take a look at his book, but it soon becomes clear that Brandon has other ideas and wants to get to know Claire on a more than professional basis.
Justin and Brandon’s interest might appear like a good thing, but that’s not the case for thirty- something Claire. Not only does she assume they must have cougar fetishes as they are both younger than her but she also assumes that they will both want families in the future. Something which Claire, after undergoing a hysterectomy after several miscarriages, is unable to offer.
Then we add the charming Dr Nathan into the mix – nearer to Claire’s age and with no desire for children he sounds like the perfect match. But is he too good to be true?
And where have all these men suddenly come from? It seems as though men really are like buses…

I loved the sound of There Are No Men. I was slightly weary about how the story would pan out as I feel as though I’ve read quite a few books which tackle the subject of internet dating and its pitfalls (there really seem to be some weirdo’s out there…It does make for funny reading, though.) However there was so much more to this story than a few funny date-scenarios and I adored it.
I really liked Claire right from the off. She likes wearing impractical shoes and loves sausage dogs. Enough said. In all seriousness I really felt for Claire and all of the jerks she has to deal with throughout this story. Why can’t the poor girl just find someone normal!? I did feel that she was a little hard on herself at times and I wanted her to throw caution to the wind a little more. Date younger guys! Wear ridiculously high shoes! Do what YOU want and don’t conform to other people’s expectations. Ok, I’m finished. I really loved Claire and was desperately hoping she found someone to be happy with as she deserved it. She was funny, warm, kind and perfect BFF material. She is also one of those characters who will stay with me long after reading There Are No Men. She was brilliant and I also really liked the way that she stood up for what she believed in at work when the publishing house were intent on publishing erotica which she wasn’t a fan of. Despite being constantly called a ‘prude’ etc she still made her views known and I really admired her for that.
Carol Maloney Scott’s down-to-earth, conversational style of writing helps bring Claire and indeed all of the other characters, to life. Some of the situations Claire finds herself in are properly hilarious and will make you hoot with laughter. There are some particular scenes especially worth a mention involving sending texts, falling onto a band and chasing a man wearing a leather throng out of her house (in front of the gorgeous Brandon, naturally.)
I feel as though I’m underselling this story by saying that it was very, very, funny – but that’s exactly what it was. Carol Maloney Scott appears to have a knack for writing humour mixed with warmth and romance, with a very addictive plot line thrown in on top for good measure.
There Are No Men had everything you need for a good chick-lit novel; romance, farcical dates, friendships, an array of potential suitors, and my personal must-have…DACHSHUNDS. It does a brilliant job at showing that we can find happiness in ways that we wouldn’t necessarily think.
Without revealing too much, There Are No Men turned out exactly the way I wanted it to and I was left feeling one very content, laughed-out, reader who is desperately hoping for a sequel…?

A massive Dachshund-shaped thank you to Carol for providing me with a copy of There Are No Men to read and review. ♥

P.S – There Are No Men is currently on offer over on Amazon where you can grab the Kindle edition for 99p! It’s the funniest 99p you’ll spend….

CarolPic My name is Carol, and I’m addicted to Romance.

I grew up in the Hudson Valley area of New York, surrounded by “city folk,” like my Manhattanite mom and Bronx-native Dad, who taught me to be sweet on the outside, yet tough on the inside.

As a result, I’m often gifted sassy labels like “firecracker” or “feisty,” which I choose to take as a compliment, due to my Irish/Eastern European heritage.

My romantic history is as real (and complicated) as that of the heroines in my novels. I’ve been divorced, relocated, plunged fearlessly into the turbulent waters of online dating—only to retreat, yelping, at the occasionally shocking climate before bravely renewing my efforts—until finally, I grabbed hold of happiness and refused to let go.

While I did eventually find my “HEA” in the form of a real life relationship, I also fell in love with writing, and it’s a romance I can’t get enough of.

That’s why I can’t help chasing after that thrill of first love, of never-ending passion, of self-discovery, of romance—even if that chase leads me to (and sometimes over) the edge.